Lyra Lockhart's Multifandom Karaoke Exrtavaganza!
by LyraLockhart
Summary: What happens when you have characters from Heroes, Harry Potter, and Twilight singing together? Read to find out. Mild spoilers for Powerless, Breaking Dawn, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
1. Love, love, love

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own a thing, not the characters, not the songs, I don't even own the idea. (If this seems a lot like queen of the solar system's fic, "Let's Force Heroes To Sing!", know that I'm not copying her story.)**

Also, I collaborated with my little brother (a. k. a. His Royal Bobness) on this, so big thanx to him.

This story features characters from Heroes, Harry Potter, and Twilight. If you're confused, don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have. (I know that I have very eclectic tastes, and it shows in my writing.)

Now, on to the story!

* * *

_**Lyra Lockhart's Multi-fandom karaoke extravaganza!**_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Hello, everybody, and welcome to the first ever (I think) Multi-fandom karaoke fanfic! And, without further ado, please allow me to introduce my co-host, fellow fanfiction author, and little brother, His Royal Bobness!

**H. R. Bobness:** That's right, folks! We've thrown (y)our favorite characters from many different fandoms onto one stage, and we're going to make them sing stuff! Yay!

**Characters:** (groan)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, let's start off by having our young couples come onto the stage!

**Harry & Ginny, Ron & Hermione, Claire & West, and Edward & Bella:** (file onstage)

**Ms. Lockhart:** And now, here's Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Claire, West, Edward, and Bella singing "All You Need Is Love", by the Beatles.

**Edward:** Does it have to be something so…obvious?

**Bella:** Um, I just remembered, I have to go visit Jacob!

**Edward & Ms. Lockhart: **Um, no you don't!

**Edward:** You're staying here, and singing with me.

**Bella: **Hmph!

**Claire: **(to the host) You do know West and I broke up, don't you?

**Ms. Lockhart: **Yes, I do know. But you're still singing with him.

**Ginny & Ron:** Who are the Beatles?

**Harry & Hermione:** (roll their eyes)

**H. R. Bobness:** They're those guys who do music that you play in the background while dancing in the living room.(Or at least with this song anyway…) BUT, that's just my personal opinion.

**Ginny & Ron:** (look even more confused)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Hem, hem. Presta la musica!

**Ginny, Hermione, Claire, and Bella:** _Love, love, love _

_Love, love, love _

_Love, love, love_

**Voldemort: **(singing badly) _Hate, hate, hate_

Ms. Lockhart: Hey! There will be no hate during this song!

**Voldemort: (**looks murderous)

Ms. Lockhart: You will get your fill of hate in the next chapter, now shut up! Honestly, I don't even know why I have you here, seeing as you're dead.

**Voldemort: (**looks even more murderous)

**Harry:** _There's nothing you can do that can't be done _

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung

**Ron:** _Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game _

_It's easy_

**Edward: **_There's nothing you can make that can't me made _

_No one you can save that can't be saved _

**West: **Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time

**Peter Petrelli:** I didn't know Claire's boyfriend could sing!

**Nathan Petrelli:** He can't.

**Peter Petrelli: **What? You mean he isn't the one with the copper hair, and the glittery skin?

**Nathan Petrelli:** No, Claire's _ex_-boyfriend is the one with the brown hair, and the…non-glittery skin.

**Peter Petrelli:** I am so out of the loop these days!

**All Boys:** _It's easy_

**All Girls:** _All you need is love_

**All Boys: **_All you need is love_

**All: **_All you need is love, love_

_Love is all you need_

_Love, love, love_

_Love, love, love_

_Love, love, love_

**All Girls:** _All you need is love_

**All Boys: **_All you need is love_

**All: **_All you need is love, love_

_Love is all you need_

**Claire: **_There's nothing you can know that isn't known_

**Ginny: **_Nothing you can see that isn't shown_

**Hermione & Bella:** _No where you can be that isn't where you're meant to be_

**All Girls: **_It's easy_

_All you need is love_

**All Boys: **_All you need is love_

**All: **_All you need is love, love_

_Love is all you need _

_All you need is love _

_All you need is love _

_All you need is love, love _

_Love is all you need _

_Love is all you need _

_Love is all you need _

_Love is all you need _

_Love is all you need _

_Love is all you need…_

**Lockhart, Bobness, and all the other characters that will sing in later chapters: **(applause)

**Voldemort:** Boo!

**Ms. Lockhart:** (has Voldy thrown out by security) Thank you, guys! That was excellent!

**H. R. Bobness: **That was P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C!! What does that spell?! PATHETIC!!

**Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Edward, Bella, Claire, and West:** :( (sad face)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Don't be sad, guys. He's got…_interesting_ tastes in music.

**Ginny & Ron:** We still don't understand who the Beatles are!

**Ms. Lockhart:** I'll explain it to you while the next people sing.

_Next Chapter:Petrellis!_


	2. Petrellis Got The Party!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Heroes, or Twilight (and that includes (sigh) Edward Cullen).**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Who's next? (pauses) No one? Well, what shall we do? I promised the readers that they would get Petrellis in this chapter, but I guess they don't want to sing.

**Peter:** I'll sing! (elbows Nathan)

**Nathan:** Fine, I'll sing, too.

**Ms. Lockhart:** Wonderful! Next up, we have the Petrelli brothers singing…wait, what are they singing? (glances around for her co-host) Bobness?

**H. R. Bobness:** (snores loudly) Hmm? Sorry, I fell asleep.

**Ms. Lockhart: **The Petrellis, what are they singing?

**H. R. Bobness:** Hmm…Petrellis…aha! The Petrelli brothers and Claire Bennet will sing "We Got The Party" by Hannah Montana.

**Ms. Lockhart:** That's perfect! You are the coolest annoying little brother on the face of the planet!

**H. R. Bobness:** Tell me something I don't know!

**TITLE 511 INDIANA STATE BOARD OF EDUCATION:** Whoo hoo.

**H. R. Bobness: **Wait…I'm not cool!

**Ms. Lockhart:** Cool is a matter of perspective.

**H. R. Bobness: **And from my perspective I am not cool! Like, I know that you are like, the master of "perspective", but I say I am not cool! And what I say is final!! Oh, and when are they going to embarrass themselves by singing?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, alright! No more shamelessly plugging my other stories! On to the singing!

**Claire:** _C'mon guys, tell me what we're doin'_

_We're hangin' 'round when we could be all over the place_

**Peter:** _The sun is shinin' just the way we like it_

_Let's get out of this hallway show the world our face_

**Nathan: **(singing _very_ badly) _It's Friday, but there's nowhere to go_

_Anywhere is cool, but we're not goin' home_

**Edward:** Good grief! Compared to him, Hannah Montana sounds like someone who can actually sing!

**Ms. Lockhart:** Edward! There will be no Hannah Montana bashing in my presence!

**Edward:** (growls)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (Slaps Edward, then clutches her hand in pain) If you can't behave yourself, then I _will_ have you thrown outside with Voldy!

**Claire:** _We can do anything we wanna do_

_It's all up to me and you_

**Nathan:** (not wanting to embarrass himself further, leaves the stage)

**Peter and Claire: **_Turn this park into a club_

_The stars are lights_

_And the moon is the vibe from above_

_Skateboard here's our ride so pull on up_

_Everyone is waiting for us_

_Anywhere we are _

_Anywhere we go_

_Everybody knows_

_We got the party with us_

_Anywhere we are _

_Anywhere we go_

_Everybody knows_

_We got the party with us_

**Peter:** _Radio, let me be a DJ_

_I'll turn you up keep us movin' till we're on a roll_

**Sylar:** (makes the mistake of looking at Peter in an unfriendly way)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (smiles deviously) I think I know who's going to sing next…

**Sylar:** (overhears authoress's last comment, and glares at her) You wouldn't!

**Ms. Lockhart:** I can assure you, I most certainly would. I don't care if you are an extremely good-looking villain, I _will_ make you sing if you attempt to Sylar-ize any of the Heroes (particularly Peter) during this fic!

**Sylar:** (growls, but it doesn't have quite the same effect as Edward's)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (Slaps Sylar, and doesn't clutch her hand in pain) Do you want me to sic Edward on you? Or the _entire Cullen family_, for that matter? 'Cause I will.

**Sylar:** (glances over at the Cullens, then shakes his head)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Good. (Sits back down in her seat) You're still singing, though.

**Sylar:** What? Why?

**Ms. Lockhart:** 'Cause I feel like torturing you.

**Claire:** _Life is for dreamers_

_And I'm a believer_

_That nothing can stand in our way today _

_Let's find a place to play!_

**Peter and Claire: **_Turn this park into a club_

_The stars are lights_

_And the moon is the vibe from above _

_Skateboard here's our ride so pull on up_

_Everyone is waiting for us_

_Anywhere we are _

_Anywhere we go_

_Everybody knows_

_We got the party with us_

_Anywhere we are _

_Anywhere we go_

_Everybody knows_

_We got the party with us_

_Turn this park into a club_

_The stars are lights_

_And the moon is the vibe from above _

_Skateboard here's our ride so pull on up_

_Everyone is waiting for us_

_Anywhere we are _

_Anywhere we go_

_Everybody knows_

_We got the party with us_

_Anywhere we are _

_Anywhere we go_

_Everybody knows_

_We got the party with us_

_We got the party with us!_

**Characters and Authors:** (applaud)

**Ms. Lockhart: **That was excellent, guys! (whispers to Nathan) And I'm not going to make you sing again, don't worry. (to audience) Next, I shall draw a name out my awesome green pointy hat, to see who's going to sing next! (pulls name out) And the winner is…Emmett!

_Next Chapter:__ Emmett sings! You will not want to miss this, folks!_


	3. Emmett Gives Love A Bad Name

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Except me, and this fanfic (And even those are debatable). On to the story!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Ms. Lockhart: **Well, my co-host fell asleep again, so I guess I'm doing this one solo. Okay, Em. You're up. And here's Emmett Cullen singing "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi.

**Alice: **Whoo! Go Emmett! You sing great!

**Harry:** He hasn't sung yet!

**Alice: **Um…I have a lot of faith in him?

**Harry:** Yeah, sure. And I have a lot of faith in the Queen of America.

**Emmett:** _Shot through the heart, and you're to blame_

_Darlin' you give love a bad name_

**H. R. Bobness: **(Snoring) WOW! That's LOUD!! Wait…I don't feel the room shaking…Lyra? Did you turn the Sub-Woofer on?

**Ms. Lockhart: **What Sub-Woofer?

**H. R. Bobness: **The one in the back room! Never mind, I'll go turn it on…

**Emmett: **_Chains of love got a hold on me_

_When passion's a prison, you can't break free_

(Room starts shaking)

**Ron: **It's an earthquake!!

**H. R. Bobness:** No, it's the Sub-Woofer.

**Ron: **What's a Sub-Woofer?

**H. R. Bobness**: It's a device that when hooked up to a speaker, vibrates according to the overall volume of the sound. At least I think that's how it works.

**Ron: **Explain it with smaller words.

**H. R. Bobness**: Music Jamming equals Body shaking…

**Ron: **I still don't understand it…

**H. R. Bobness**: IT VIBERATES!!

**Claire: **SHHHH!! We're trying to listen to Emmett sing.

**H. R. Bobness and Ron: **Sorry.

**Emmett:** _Shot through the heart_

_And you're to blame_

_You give love a bad name_

_I play my part and you play your game_

_You give love a bad name_

_You give love a bad name_

**Edward:** He is pretty good, isn't he?

**Alice:** I told you he was going to be good!

**Emmett:** _You paint your smile on your lips_

_Blood red nails on your fingertips_

_A school boy's dream, you act so shy_

_Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye_

_Whoa!_

_You're a loaded gun_

_Whoa!_

_There's nowhere to run_

_No one can save me_

_The damage is done_

_Shot through the heart_

_And you're to blame_

_You give love a bad name_

_I play my part and you play your game_

_You give love a bad name_

_You give love..._

**Sylar: **(to the authoress) Just out of curiosity, what are you going to make me sing?

**Ms. Lockhart:** I haven't decided yet. But I am going to make you sing _something_, so be prepared.

**Sylar:** _When_ are you going to make me sing?

**Ms. Lockhart:** You have until your name comes out of the hat.

**Sylar: **Right.

**Emmett:** _Shot through the heart_

_And you're to blame_

_You give love a bad name_

_I play my part and you play your game_

_You give love a bad name_

_You give love a bad name_

**Characters and Authors:** (applaud)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, it's awesome pointy hat time! And I saw you try to take your name out of the hat, Sylar. You're not getting off that easily!

**Sylar:** (Makes psycho face at authoress)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (Ignores Sylar) Alright, the next person to sing is…Harry!

_Next Chapter:__ Harry Potter sings country!_

* * *

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who read, and even more thanx to those who reviewed and/or added this to their story alerts! All of you get a big heap of Multi-fandom love! (BTW, let me know if I'm updating too fast. Unlike with my other fics, it really doesn't take long to write one of these chapters.)_


	4. Harry Potter Sings Country

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. NBC, Jo Rowling, and Stephenie Meyer do.**

Bunches and bunches of Multi-fandom love to my readers, reviewers, and collaborator! (Bobness, you ROCK!)

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Harry, you're up!

**Harry:** (whimpers, but gets onstage anyway) Alright, what am I singing?

**Ms. Lockhart:** (grins deviously) And now, Harry Potter will sing "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus!

**Harry:** (groans)

**Cullens, Ron and Hermione:** (stifle their giggles)

**Harry:** (glares at them)

**Harry:** _You can tell the world you never was my girl_

_You can burn my clothes when I'm gone_

_Oh, you can tell your friends, just what a fool I've been _

_And laugh and joke about me on the phone_

_You can tell my arms, go back onto the farm_

_You can tell my feet to hit the floor_

_Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips _

_They won't be reaching out for you no more_

_But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_I just don't think he'd understand_

_And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_He might blow up and kill this man_

_Ooooooo_

**Edward:** (has tears in his eyes from silent laughter) Oh, mygoodness! I am so glad I came here!

**Alice:** Yeah, I wasn't sure how this was going to turn out, but I'm glad I came!

**Harry:** _You can tell your Ma I moved to Arkansas_

_You can tell your dog to bite my leg_

_Or tell your brother Cliff his fist can tell my lip_

_He never really liked me anyway_

_Or tell your Aunt Louise, tell anything you please_

_Myself already knows I'm not okay_

_Or you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind_

_It might be walking out on me one day_

_But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_I just don't think he'd understand_

_And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_He might blow up and kill this man_

_Ooooooo_

_(Outside the building)_

**Voldy:** (talking into borrowed cellphone) Bella, get the video camera and meet me here! The Potter boy is singing country music! (pause) What do you mean, you can't? (another pause) The Volturi are holding you, and all the other Death Eaters, captive? Why? (another pause) The authoress told them to! (growls, but it's not as impressive as (sigh) Edward's) I'd _so_ love to kill her, but this is _her_ fanfic, so I can't!

_(Back inside the building)_

**Harry:** _Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_I just don't think he'd understand_

_And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_He might blow up and kill this man_

_Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_I just don't think he'd understand_

_And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart_

_He might blow up and kill this man_

_Ooooooo Ooo Ooo_

**Audience:** (Applaud)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, it's pointy green hat time again! And the winner is…Ginny!

_Next Chappie:__ Haven't I already made that clear?_


	5. Ginny

**Disclaimer:**** Yeah, yeah. Don't own. Don't slap me with a suit. Especially not a gray flannel one, I had enough of that during Drama Camp.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Ms. Lockhart:** And we're back!

**H. R. Bobness: **We were gone?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Yes we were gone, silly!

**H. R. Bobness: **That's a fun catchphrase, silly!!I'm gonna start saying that, silly!!

**Ms. Lockhart:** See? See what I have to put up with, every single day?! (huffs) Well, on to the singing!

**H. R. Bobness: **Hold that thought. Who sang last time?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Harry! You were asleep, weren't you?

**H. R. Bobness: **No I wasn't! That was a dummy! I was out and about in the world! Otherwise known as the back room with the Sub-Woofer.

**Ms. Lockhart: **Ah, yes, that room. Anyway, on to the singing! What's Ginny Weasley going to sing for us tonight, Bobness?

**H. R. Bobness: **(to someone else) So I heard that your daughter got married. Wait…Lyra? Did you say something to me?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Yes, I said something to you, silly! What's Ginny singing, silly?

**H. R. Bobness: **(to someone else) Australian? Ouch.

**Ms. Lockhart: **BOBNESS! What's Ginny singing?

**H. R. Bobness:** Hmm…"Eveytime We Touch" by Cascada.

**Ms. Lockhart:** (sigh) Alright! Presta la musica!

**Ginny:** _I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me_

_I still feel your touch in my dreams_

_Forgive me my weakness_

_But I don't know why_

_Without you it's hard to survive_

**Ron:** Wait…Since when can Ginny sing like that?

**Hermione:** Since forever. You just never paid attention, Ronald!

**Ron:** I do tend to do that, don't I?

**Hermione:** You think?

**Ginny:** _'Cause everytime we touch_

_I get this feeling_

_And everytime we kiss_

_I swear I could fly_

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast?_

_I want this to last_

_'Need you by my side_

_'Cause everytime we touch_

_I feel the static_

_And everytime we kiss_

_I reach for the sky_

_Can't you hear my heart beat so?_

_I can't let you go_

_'Want you in my life_

**Harry:** (to Ron and Hermione) So, what are we doing after this?

**Ron: **I don't know. Any ideas?

**Hermione:** We could try to figure out why Voldemort's still here, even though he's _supposed_ to be dead.

**Ms. Lockhart:** The reason Voldy's still here, is because _I_ have him here for comedic purposes. Don't worry about it.

**Harry, Ron, and Hermione:** (look confused)

**Ginny:** _Your arms are my castle_

_Your heart is my sky_

_They wipe away tears that I cry_

_The good and the bad times_

_We've been through them all_

_You make me rise when I fall_

_'Cause everytime we touch_

_I get this feeling_

_And everytime we kiss_

_I swear I could fly_

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast?_

_I want this to last_

_'Need you by my side_

_'Cause everytime we touch_

_I feel the static_

_And everytime we kiss_

_I reach for the sky_

_Can't you hear my heart beat so?_

_I can't let you go_

_'Want you in my life_

_'Cause everytime we touch_

_I get this feeling_

_And everytime we kiss_

_I swear I could fly_

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast?_

_I want this to last_

_'Need you by my side_

**Characters and Authors:** (do I even need to say it? Fine, they applaud.)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, it's pointy hat time! And the winner is…Bella!

_Next Chapter:__ It'll be Chapter Six! Like, whoa!_


	6. Bella

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes, Harry Potter, or Twilight. Please don't send Kring, Jo, or Ms. Meyer after me for forcing their characters to sing.**

I apologize for the lack of humorous dialogue in this chapter. My little brother is not only my collaborator on this fic, he's also my muse, and when he's not helping, the chapters aren't as funny. As for when Sylar's going to sing...when I say I'm pulling names out of a pointy green hat, I'm not just saying that: I actually am pulling random names out of an actual pointy green hat. So it could be a while longer, or it could be the very next chapter I write.

Anywho, on to the story!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, guess what? My co-host fell asleep…again! Oh well. Here's Bella Swan singing "Like Whoa" by Aly & AJ.

**Bella:** _Life is good, I can't complain_

_I mean I could but no one's listening_

_Your image overwhelms my brain_

_And it feels good _

_Good, good_

_Now I'm rolling my window down_

_I love the wind but I hate the sound_

_You're like a tattoo that I can't remove_

_And it feels good _

_It feels good, it feels good_

**Edward:** Huh. That's odd.

**Alice:** What?

**Edward:** This song seems oddly…fitting. It describes Bella's and my relationship almost perfectly.

**Alice:** You're right. That's just weird. (Glances at authoress) You don't think this author person knows a lot about you two, and picked the song accordingly?

**Edward:** Maybe.

**Bella:** _Like a rollercoaster ride_

_Holding on white knuckles like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Can't believe I'm like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Got me feelin' like_

_Up and down and side to side_

_Every inch of me is like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Got me feelin' like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Got me feelin' like_

_In the morning it begins again_

_Feels like I'm falling, better strap me in_

_I think I'm running out of oxygen_

_And it feels good_

_It feels good, it feels good_

**Edward:** Now this is just…uncanny! I need to talk to this author person! (gets up and walks over to the authoress)

**Bella:** _Like a rollercoaster ride_

_Holding' on white knuckles like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Can't believe I'm like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Got me feelin' like_

_Up and down and side to side_

_Every inch of me is like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Got me feelin' like_

_Whoa, Whoa_

_Got me feelin' like_

_My inhibitions are beginning to let go_

_This situation I can't help but lose control_

_You're an affliction that I cannot seem to break_

_It feels good, it feels good_

**Edward:** (sits back down in his seat)

**Alice:** Well?

**Edward:** She explained everything.

**Alice:** And?

**Edward:** There's nothing to worry about.

**Alice:** Care to elaborate?

**Edward:** No.

**Alice:** Why the heck not?

**Edward:** The authoress doesn't feel like writing an explanation.

**Bella:** _I'm holding on_

_Like a rollercoaster ride_

_Like I'm running a red light_

_Like a rocket ship in flight_

_There's nothing else that makes me feel like_

_Whoa_

_Like a rollercoaster_

_Whoa_

_Holding on white knuckles_

_Whoa_

_Once you let your love in_

_Whoa_

_Every inch of me is like_

_Whoa_

_Got me feelin' like_

**Characters and Authoress:** (applaud)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, pointy green hat time! And the winner is…Alice!

_Next Chapter:__ Alice Cullen rocks the stage!_


	7. Alice Belives In Magic

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. Please don't send Ms. Meyer, Ms. Rowling, or Mr. Kring after me for humiliating their characters.**

I apologize in advance for the quality of this chapter. However, there is a hilarious chapter right after this one, even if I do say so myself.

As always, big thanx and multi-fandom love to my readers, reviewers, and my collaborator/comical muse/little brother, His Royal Bobness.

Here's the next chapter! 

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alice, you're up! And here's Alice Cullen, singing "Do You Believe In Magic?" by Aly & AJ.

**H. R. Bobness:** The President's present is present in the present!

**Ms. Lockhart:** On to the singing!

**Alice:** _Do you believe in magic_

_In a young girl's heart_

_How the music can free her whenever it starts_

_And it's magic_

_If the music is groovy_

_It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie_

_I'll tell you 'bout some magic, it'll free your soul_

_It's like tryin' to tell a stranger about rock 'n roll_

**Ms. Lockhart:** (to Mr. NoOneInParticular) Yes, I _know_ that somebody else did this song before Aly & AJ, but I have no idea _who_ that is! (pause) Oh. Okay.

**Alice: **_If you believe in magic_

_Don't bother to choose_

_If it's Jug band music _

_Or rhythm and blues_

_Just go and listen _

_It'll start with a smile_

_It won't wipe off your face _

_No matter how hard you try_

_Your feet start tappin' _

_And you can't seem to find_

_How you got there_

_So just blow your mind_

**H. R. Bobness: **(to Mr. "Someone else") Your other daughter got married and they had a baby? Twins? Ouch. Your other Daughter isn't going to like that.

**Alice:** _If you believe in magic_

_Come along with me_

_We'll dance until morning_

'_Til there's just you and me_

_And maybe _

_If the music is right_

_I'll meet you tomorrow _

_So late at night_

_And we'll go dancing_

_Baby, then you'll see_

_How the all the magic's in the music _

_And the music's in me_

**Ms. Lockhart:** (searching frantically for something) Where's the hat? Where's the awesome green pointy hat? (glares at Sylar)

**Sylar:** Don't look at me! I didn't take it!

**Ms. Lockhart:** And I should believe that, why? You have more reason to take it than anyone else!

**Esme:** (whispers something in authoress's ear)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Did they really? Hmm. Well, I guess we're just going to have to do something about that.

**Alice:** _Believe in the magic of a young girl's soul_

_Believe in the magic of rock 'n roll_

Believe in the magic that can set you free

_Oh..._

_Talking 'bout magic_

_Do you believe in magic?_

_Do you believe in magic?_

_Do you believe in magic?_

**Audience:** (applauds)

**Ms. Lockhart:** That was wonderful, Alice! Alright, during that last song, I was informed that several members of our audience stole the pointy green hat. I was also informed as to who they were. So, as punishment, we're going to have Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Voldy sing together!

_Next Chapter:__ The authoress deals out a cruel and unusual punishment._


	8. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes, Harry Potter, or Twilight. (sigh). However, I can humiliate them using the amazing thing that is fanfiction!**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Ms. Lockhart:** For those of you who are just now joining us: Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Voldy made the mistake of the century by stealing the pointy green hat with all the names in it, and, as punishment, we're going to make them sing together!

**Audience:** (pushes Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Voldy onstage)

**H. R. Bobness:** Wait, why is Sylar helping?

**Ms. Lockhart:** He's trying to delay the moment when he has to sing.

**Sylar:** (pushes Voldy onstage with telekinesis) Exactly.

**H. R. Bobness:** Ah.

**Ms. Lockhart:** (glares at the four of them) Alright, here's Emmett, Jasper, Edward, and Voldemort singing "G.N.O. (Girl's Night Out)" by Miley Cyrus!

**Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Voldy:** (groan, which earns them threatening looks from the authoress)

**Voldy:** _Don't call me, leave me alone_

_I'm not gonna answer my phone_

_'Cause I don't_

_No I won't see you_

**Jasper:** _I'm out to have a good time_

_To get you off of my mind_

_'Cause I don't_

_And I won't need you_

**Edward:** _Send out a 9-1-1_

**Emmett:** _We're gonna have some fun_

**Voldy & Jasper:** _Hey boy, you know you better run_

**Edward & Emmett:** _'Cause it's a girl's night _

It's alright without you

**Voldy & Jasper:** _I'm gonna stay out _

And play out without you

**All: **_You better hold tight _

This girl's night's without you

_Let's go, G-N-O_

_Let's go, G-N-O_

_Let's go, G-N-O, let's go_

_It's a girl's night_

**Ms. Lockhart:** (says through her tears of laughter) Well, it serves them right! The pointy hat is not something you want to mess with!

**Alice:** (ROFL-ing)

**Rosalie:** (Not surprisingly, is not laughing (much)) I have a question: what's so special about this pointy green hat?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Good question. Have you ever heard of a video game called "The Legend of Zelda"?

**Alice:** (pulls herself off the floor) I think _I_ may have, once or twice.

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, the main character, Link, wears a pointy green hat.

_(Long pause)_

**Rosalie: **And…that's what's so special about it? It's like a hat that a video game character wears?

**Alice:** You seriously need to get a life.

**Ms. Lockhart:** Ah, but if I had a life, I wouldn't be able to write this fanfic!

**Rosalie:** Exactly my point!

**Ms. Lockhart:** (looks offended, and goes over to sit next to the Petrelli brothers)

**Em, Ed, Jas, and Voldy:** _'Cause it's a girl's night _

_It's alright without you_

_I'm gonna stay out _

_And play out without you_

_You better hold tight _

This girl's night's without you

_Let's go, G-N-O_

_Let's go, G-N-O_

_Let's go, G-N-O, let's go_

_It's a girl's night_

**Ms. Lockhart:** (glares at the hat thieves) Well? Are you ready to tell me where you put the hat? Or shall we sing another song?

**Voldy:** Alright, you win! The hat is behind the Sub-woofer in the back room!

**Ms. Lockhart:** Good. You may take your seats.

**Em, Ed, Jas, and Voldy: **(dash offstage)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Bobness? Would you go get it, please? Since you're so familiar with that room.

**H. R. Bobness: **(in little squeaky voice) Right away, Santa! (runs out of the room, returns after two minutes, and hands authoress the hat)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, who's next? (pulls name out) West! Well, Sylar, I guess you'll live to see another chapter.

_Next Chapter:__ West sings! Help!_


	9. West

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes, Harry Potter, or Twilight.**

Okay, sorry it's been so long since I updated. There was an ice storm in our area a while ago, and we haven't had internet connection since (I hate dial up). Anyway, I'm posting three chapters now, to make up for the time it took to update (and since it might be a while before I can update again).

And, panda-and-twilight-lover, I apologize for not being able to use your idea. Because of my loss of internet, I couldn't find the lyrics for the song.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Ms. Lockhart:** West, you're up! And now, here's West singing "It Don't Matter To The Sun" by Garth Brooks.

**West:** (Singing _almost_ as badly as Nathan) _It don't matter to the sun_

_If you go or if you stay_

_I know the sun is gonna rise _

_Shine down on another day_

**Claire:** (holds her hands over her ears)

**Peter:** Claire, what did you ever see in that boy? He stalked you, he showed up at your house at random times, made out with you in front of the dog—

**H. R. Bobness:** Hey! His name is Mr. Muggles!

**Peter:** Fine. He made out with you in front of Mr. Muggles…um…I lost my train of thought…oh, yeah. What did you ever see in him?

**Claire:** (Says loudly) What?

**Peter:** (reaches over and pulls Claire's hands away from her ears) I said, what did you ever see in that boy?

**Claire:** What boy?

**Peter:** (points to the stage) That boy!

**Claire:** Oh…what about him?

**Peter:** What did you ever see in him?

**Claire: **Oh. I don't really know.

**Peter:** (sighs in frustration)

**West:** _It ain't gonna stop the world_

_If you walk out that door_

_This old world will just keep on turning 'round _

_Turning 'round_

_Like it did the day before_

**Sylar:** (attempting to flirt with Rosalie) So, you wanna do something after this?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Oh, I wouldn't be making plans just yet…

**Sylar:** (very unwillingly drags his gaze from Rosalie, and turns to glare at authoress) Why not?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, let's just say I invited one of your 'old flames'. Actually, she should've been here by now.

**Sylar**: (looks confused)

**Ms. Lockhart:** You _do_ remember Maya, don't you?

**Sylar:** (Gulps) You didn't. You wouldn't dare!

**Ms. Lockhart:** Oh, but I did!

**Sylar:** (makes uber-creepy psycho face at authoress)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (sees that she has pushed Sylar to his breaking point, and runs to hide behind Edward)

**West:** _What can I say?_

_What can I do?_

_I'm still in love_

_So why aren't you?_

_It don't matter the moon_

_If you're not in my life_

_No the moon will just keep hangin' 'round _

_Hangin' 'round_

_Like it's just another night_

_He'll find another place to shine down_

_On some other lover's dreams_

_'Cause it don't matter the moon_

_But is sure do matter to me_

_No it don't matter to the moon_

_But it matters to me_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thank you, West, for that…wonderfully (short) song. And now, it's pointy green hat time! And the winner is…Hiro!

_Next Chapter:__ Hiro rocks the stage!_


	10. Hiro Sings A Song

**Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I think you know by now.**

Oh, I almost forgot to mention: as always, reviews are appreciated, but--because of my loss of you-know-what--it'll be difficult for me to read them, let alone reply to them.

Anyways, on to the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, you're up, Hiro! And now, Hiro Nakamura singing "Sing" by The Carpenters!

**Hiro:** _Sing, sing a song_

_Sing out loud, sing out strong_

_Sing of good things, not bad_

_Sing of happy, not sad_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Awww, it's so sweet!

**Bella:** Yeah! Don't you think it's sweet, Edward?

**Edward:** I guess so…

**Bella:** You 'guess so'?

**Edward:** I mean…Awww, it's so sweet…?

**Bella:** Better.

**Hiro:** _Sing, sing a song_

_Make it simple, to last your whole life long_

**Ando:** (also attempting to flirt with Rosalie) So, I guess heaven must be missing an angel, huh?

Rosalie: (rolls her eyes)

**Hiro: **_Don't worry that it's not good enough _

_For anyone else to hear_

_Just sing, sing a song_

**Sylar: **(thinking out loud) I'm glad she didn't make me sing this. But what could she possibly make me sing that would embarrass me the most? Nothing by Hannah Montana, I hope.

**Ms. Lockhart: **(pops up behind Sylar) Aha! I have discovered your greatest weakness!

**Sylar: **Crap.

**Ms. Lockhart:** I will find the most annoying Hannah Montana song in existence to make you sing! (laughs maniacally, then dashes to her computer to scour iTunes)

**H. R. Bobness:** Lemme help! (laughs maniacally, then dashes to his computer to scour iTunes)

**Hiro:** _Sing, sing a song_

_Let the world sing along_

_Sing of love there could be_

_Sing for you and for me_

**Ms. Lockhart:** (sits back down next to Sylar) I found it.

**Sylar: **Well, what is it?

**Ms. Lockhart:** I'm not gonna ruin the surprise for you! Not to mention my wonderful readers!

**Hiro:** _Sing, sing a song_

_Make it simple, to last your whole life long_

_Don't worry that it's not good enough _

_For anyone else to hear_

_Just sing, sing a song_

_Just sing, sing a song_

_Just sing, sing a song _

**Audience:** (applauds)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thank you, Hiro! That was wonderful! Alright, it's pointy green hat time! And the winner is…Mohinder!

**H. R. Bobness:** Uh-oh…Nice knowing you, Mohinder!

_Next Chapter:__ Poor Mohinder. Poor, poor, poor Mohinder._


	11. Mohinder

**Disclaimer: I'm not going to say it. (looks over her shoulder, and sees the disclaimer police) Oh, fine. I don't own it. Happy? (disclaimer police leave)**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, here's Mohinder singing "I Want To Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles!

**Mohinder:** _Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

**Matt:** (LOL-ing)

**Molly:** (ROFL-ing) Ohhhh mygoodness!

**Matt:** Can't…breathe…too…funny!

**Mohinder:** _Oh, please, say to me_

_You'll let me be your man_

_And please, say to me_

_You'll let me hold your hand_

_Now let me hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

**Peter:** He's actually not that bad. I'm surprised.

**Claire:** He's better than Nathan, at any rate.

**Nathan:** Hey! I'm right here, you know!

**Claire:** Oh, I know.

**Nathan:** Hmph! (pouts)

**Mohinder:** _And when I touch you I feel happy inside_

_It's such a feeling_

_That, my love _

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

**Emmett:** He most certainly can't!

**Mohinder:** _Yeah, you got that something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

**Alice:** I wonder…exactly whose hand does he want to hold? (glances over at Matt)

**Edward:** Alice!

**Alice:** What?

**Edward:** Please, spare me what you're thinking.

**Mohinder:** _And when I touch you I feel happy inside_

_It's such a feeling_

_That, my love_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

**Sylar:** (tries to sneak out the back door)

**Ms. Lockhart:** You can't hide either, Sylar.

**Sylar:** Crap…

**Mohinder:** _Yeah, you got that something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

**Audience:** (applauds)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thank you, Mohinder! And now, I shall draw a name out of the pointy green hat! (pulls name out) Oh, boy, it's the moment all my readers have been waiting for! That's right, Folks: Sylar sings!

**Sylar:** NOOOOOOOO!!

_Next Chapter:__ Finally! I know some of you were starting to get impatient._


	12. Sylar's Got Nerve

**Disclaimer:**** Yeah, yeah, yeah.**

Oh, cruel irony! Would you believe me if I told you that the evening after I posted those three chapters, we got our internet working? I love/hate irony.

Anyway, here's the chapter where the Sylar sings! I hope I did well with my song choice; As I've said in a previous chapter, it's something by Hannah Montana.

Anyway, on to the chapter! I hope nobody's disappointed!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**Mohinder:** Previously on Heroes:

**_Ms. Lockhart:_**_ And now, I shall draw a name out of the pointy green hat! (pulls name out) Oh, boy, it's the moment all my readers have been waiting for! That's right, Folks: Sylar sings!_

**_Sylar:_**_ NOOOOOOOO!!_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thanks for the flashback, Mo!

**Mohinder:** Only by reflecting on the past, can we have a hope of surviving the future.

**Ms. Lockhart:** O…kay.

**Mohinder:** No matter what happens, how bleak things become, we always have hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better, that—

**Ms. Lockhart:** Um, Mo? This isn't an episode of Heroes; you don't have to do a monologue.

**Mohinder:** Oh. Okay.

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, it's time for the Sylar to sing! (pause) Sylar? (another pause) Where is he?

**Another Voice:** He's right here!

**Cullens:** (stand up)

**Jane:** (walks in, dragging Sylar by the ear) Carlisle.

**Carlisle:** Jane. I see you found something to entertain yourself with.

**Jane:** (smirks)

**Sylar:** Ow.

**Jane:** (releases Sylar's ear, and pushes him towards the stage)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thanks much, Jane.

**Jane:** You're very welcome. (exits)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, here's Sylar singing "I Got Nerve" by Hannah Montana!

**Sylar:** _We haven't met, and that's okay_

_'Cause you will be asking for me one day_

_Don't want to wait in line_

_The moment is mine believe me_

**Peter:** (ROFL-ing)

**Maya:** (enters the scene) Gabriele? (turns to Nathan) What is he doing?

**Nathan:** Making an idiot of himself!

**Maya:** Ohhhh. (starts laughing)

**Sylar:** _Don't close your eyes_

_'Cause it's a chance worth taking_

_And I think that I can shake you_

_I know where I stand _

_I know who I am _

_I would never run away when life gets bad, it's_

_Everything I see _

_Every part of me _

_Gonna get what I deserve_

_I got nerve_

**Rosalie:** (giggles)

**Bella:** Rosalie? Did you just giggle? Like, little-girly giggle?

**Rosalie:** Well, it is really funny!

**Bella:** True dat!

**Sylar:** _Electrified, I'm on a wire_

_Gettin' together and we're on fire_

_What I said, you heard_

_Now I've got you spinning_

**Peter:** (to authoress) Why exactly are you doing this to Sylar? Not to imply that I don't think he deserves it, but still. Why?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Because everybody likes to torture their favorite villains sometimes! (Except for the sickest of sick fangirls, but we won't even think about them…(shudders))

**Peter:** (looks confused)

**Sylar:** _Don't close your mind_

_The words I use are open_

_And I think that I can show you_

**Molly:** Who's afraid of the boogeyman now? Certainly not me!

**Matt:** Good girl, Molly! You tell him!

**H. R. Bobness:** Please don't be offended by what I'm going to say now. Actually, please be offended; Matt, you are the weirdest "Parent" ever.

**Sylar:** _I know where I stand _

_I know who I am _

_I would never run away when life gets bad, it's_

_Everything I see _

_Every part of me _

_I know I can change the world, yeah, yeah, yeah_

**Mohinder:** Yeah, I guess murdering dozens of people to date would change the world, wouldn't it?

**Sylar:**_ I know what you like _

_I know what you think_

_Not afraid to stare you down until you blink, it's_

_Everything I see _

_Every part of me_

_Gonna get what I deserve_

_I got nerve_

_You, you need to discover_

_Who can make you feel free_

_And I, I need to uncover_

_The part of you that's reaching out for me, hey_

**Maya:** (sticks out her tongue at Sylar)

**Sylar:** _I know where I stand _

_I know who I am _

_I would never run away when life gets bad, it's_

_Everything I see _

_Every part of me _

_I know I can change the world, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_I know what you like _

_I know what you think_

_Not afraid to stare you down until you blink, it's_

_Everything I see _

_Every part of me_

_Gonna get what I deserve_

_I got nerve_

_I got nerve_

_I know what you like _

_I know what you think_

_Not afraid to stare you down until you blink, it's_

_Everything I see _

_Every part of me_

_Gonna get what I deserve_

_I got, _

_I got nerve_

**Audience**: (applauds and cheers)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thank you, Sylar! That was wonderful!

**Sylar:** (Glares at authoress)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Oh, don't be like that! You were phenomenal! Wasn't he, everybody?

**Audience**: (Cheers and laughs)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, it's pointy green hat time, once again! And the winner is…Ron!

_Next Chapter:__ Ron! Singing in (gasp) Chapter 13! Help!_


	13. Ron Tries to Sing

* * *

**Disclaimer: My plea for mercy to Ms. Rowling, Ms. Meyer, and Mr. Kring: Please don't hurt me for embarrassing your characters.**

Alright, here's chapter 13. Also, I put some links in my profile to videos of some of the songs I've used, for those who don't know them. Go check them out if you're interested.

Anyway, on to the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**H. R. Bobness:** Alright, here's Ron Weasley singing " "!

_(Music doesn't start playing) _

**Ron**: _…………………………………………………………(Starts dancing) …………………………………………………………………………_

**Sylar**: And I thought me singing was embarrassing.

**Ron**: _(Starts acting like he's screaming into the microphone) ………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………_

……………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………

_(Stops dancing and pretending to sing and starts tapping his foot while he _

_stares at right stage)_

**Ron**: _(Starts pretending to sing again) ………………………………………………_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**H. R. Bobness:** (Sneaks out of room)

**Ron**: _………………………………………………………………………………………_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_(Makes Karate chop hands and starts Karate chopping) ……………………………_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Hold on! Stop the music! (runs back into the room) Sorry about that, guys. I left Bobness in charge of the fic, 'cause I had to step outside and deal with the Volturi. Apparently, Sylar smells particularly appetizing to them. (shrugs)

**Sylar**: (looks uncomfortable)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (looks at Ron onstage) What did he make you sing? You know what? Never mind.

**Harry:** Yeah, I don't think you want to know.

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, here's Ron singing "Try" by Hayden Panettiere!

**Claire:** By who, now?

**Ron:** _Yeah, yeah_

_You're scared you'll fall_

_Sometimes it seems impossible_

_But your hopes and dreams_

_Are closer than they seem_

**Harry, Fred, George, & Hermione: **(hold their hands over their ears)

**Harry: **Wait, when did you two get here? And how is Fred alive?

**Fred & George:** The authoress.

**Harry:** I should've known.

**Ron:** _Why not give yourself a chance_

_Nothin's gonna hold you back_

_Everything you want is right there waiting_

_What'cha wanna do, gotta have some faith in you_

_Don't you know that you can have it all_

**Ms. Lockhart: **(to Someone Else) You don't think I'm making a mistake by not letting the Volturi have Sylar for dinner, do you? (looks around, and sees that there's no one there) I didn't think so.

**Ron: **_If you try_

_And you just believe_

_You can, you will_

_Reach inside_

_Don't be scared to dream_

_You'll never know until_

_Until you try, just try_

**Nathan:** He's still not as bad as I am, though, right?

**Peter:** Right.

**Nathan:** Crap.

**Ron:** _Your fears and doubts_

_They find a way to break you down_

_But it's not the end_

_You get right back up again_

_Why not give yourself a chance_

_Nothin's gonna hold you back_

_Everything you want is right there waiting_

_What'cha wanna do, gotta have some faith in you_

_Don't you know that you can have it all_

**Claire**: Whoa.

**Peter**: What?

**Claire**: I just had a moment of déjà vu.

**Peter**: About what?

**Claire**: I feel like…I've sung this song before. Like, in another life or something. Weird, huh?

**Peter**: Extremely.

**Ron**: _If you try_

_And you just believe_

_You can, you will_

_Reach inside_

_Don't be scared to dream_

_You'll never know until_

_Until you try_

_What's the matter with believing that you can do anything?_

_Take control and make the future what you want it to be_

_And that's when you'll see_

**Mohinder**: Isn't it about time for Molly to be in bed?

**Matt**: Yeah, probably. (glances around to look at Molly) Wait, where is Molly? (spots her) Oh, she's just talking to Sylar. (Mo and Matt look at each other for a few seconds, then dash over to rescue Molly)

**Ron**: _If you try_

_And you just believe_

_You can, you will_

_Reach inside_

_Don't be scared to dream_

_You'll never know until_

_Until you try_

_And you just believe_

_You can, you will_

_Reach inside_

_Dreams are possible_

_You'll never know until you try_

_Na na na, just try_

_Try_

**Audience**: (applauds)

**Ms. Lockhart**: Thanks, Ron! All right, did everybody make it through that last song? I know we had a bit of a Sylar scare. We're good? Good. Pointy green hat time! And the next person to sing is…Hermione!

_Next Chapter:__ Hermione sings! This should be interesting…_


	14. Hermione ft Ron!

* * *

**Disclaimer: Please, please, please, please, please don't send Jo, Stephenie, or Kring after me!**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Alright, everybody! Here's Hermione and Ron singing "Hold Me Tight" by the Beatles!

**Hermione:** _It feels alright now_

**Hermione & Ron:** _Hold me tight _

_Tell me I'm the only one_

_And then I might _

_Never be the lonely one_

**Harry:** (Holds his hands over his ears) Poor Hermione… She would sound so good if Ron wasn't singing with her.

**Fred:** Quite honestly, I doubt she minds.

**Hermione & Ron:** _So hold me tight _

_Tonight, tonight _

_It's you _

_You, you, you_

**Edward:** Why didn't we sing this song?

**Bella:** I dunno.

**Hermione & Ron:** _Hold me tight _

_Let me go on loving you _

_Tonight, tonight _

_Making love to only you_

**Mohinder:** Um…Molly, you need to be in bed!

**Molly:** Awww…

**Matt:** Mohinder's right, Molly.

**Molly:** Can't I stay for one more song? (Puppy-dog pouts)

**Mohinder:** Fine. One more.

**Molly:** Yay!

**Ron & Hermione:** _So hold me tight _

_Tonight, tonight _

_It's you _

_You, you, you_

**Harry:** (Fake snores)

**Fred & George:** (Laugh Out Loud)

**Harry:** Yeah, I mean, we already know they're in love with each other; why do we need to hear them sing about it?

**Fred:** Maybe the authoress is trying to drive a point home to a certain group of "shippers".

**Harry:** (laughs)

**Hermione:** _Don't know what it means to hold you tight _

_Being here alone tonight with you_

**Both:** _It feels alright now_

_Hold me tight _

_Tell me I'm the only one _

_And then I might _

_Never be the lonely one _

_So hold me tight _

_Tonight, tonight _

_It's you _

_You, you, you_

**Edward:** If you were wondering what that smell is, Bella, the werewolves just came in.

**Bella:** Edward!

**Edward:** Well, it's true! They just came in, and they stink!

**Bella:** (growls)

**Edward:** Alright, alright. I'm sorry.

**Lupin:** Excuse me, did you say something about werewolves?

**Edward:** No. Did you, Bella?

**Bella:** Nope. I don't even believe they exist.

**Lupin:** (shrugs and walks away)

**Hermione & Ron:** _Hold me tight _

_Let me go on loving you _

_Tonight, tonight _

_Making love to only you _

_So hold me tight _

_Tonight, tonight _

_It's you _

_You, you, you_

**Audience:** (applauds)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thank you, that was wonderful! Now, who's next? (pulls name out of hat) Hmm. Is there a Mr. Jacob Black in the audience?

**Jacob:** Yes…?

**Ms. Lockhart:** You're singing next!

**Jacob:** (groans)

_Next Chapter:__ Jacob the Jerk sings!_


	15. Jacob Feels Pretty!

**Disclaimer: Please don't tell on me to Ms. Meyer for what I'm about to do to Jacob.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**Ms. Lockhart:** And now, here's Jacob singing "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story!

**Jacob**: (groans)

**Fred & George:** (Laugh Out Loud)

**Jacob:** _I feel pretty_

_Oh so pretty_

_I feel pretty, and witty, and gay _(A/N: Old sense of the word, people. I'm not trying to imply anything.)

_And I pity any girl who isn't me today_

**Edward, Alice, Emmett, and the entire wolf pack:** (Laugh out loud)

**Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Bella, and Jasper:** (laugh silently, in a dignified manner)

**Fred & George:** (continue to laugh Out Loud)

**Jacob:** _I feel charming_

_Oh so charming_

_It's alarming how charming I feel_

_And so pretty_

_That I hardly can believe I'm real_

**The entire audience: **(Laughs Out Loud)

**Sylar: **And I thought she picked an embarrassing song for me!

**Ms. Lockhart:** It definitely shows how I think of Jacob, compared to you.

**Jacob:** _See the pretty girl in that mirror there?_

_Who can that attractive girl be?_

_Such a pretty face_

_Such a pretty dress_

_Such a pretty smile_

_Such a pretty me!_

**Ms. Lockhart:** You know, this is so funny all by itself, I don't even need to add that much extra commentary from the other characters. Am I right?

**Jacob:** _I feel stunning_

_And entrancing_

_Feel like running, and dancing for joy_

_For I'm loved by a pretty, wonderful boy!_

**Wolf pack:** _Have you met my good friend, Jacob?_

_The craziest girl on the block_

_You'll know him the minute you see him_

_He's the one who is in an advanced state of shock!_

_He thinks he's in love_

_He thinks he's in Spain_

_He isn't in love; he's merely insane_

**Quil:** _It must be the heat_

**Embry:** _Or some rare disease_

**Seth:** _Or too much to eat_

**Sam:** _Or maybe it's fleas_

**Edward:** How in the world did you get the rest of them to sing too?

**Ms. Lockhart:** I asked nicely.

**Edward:** No, seriously.

**Wolf pack:** _Modest and pure_

_Polite and refined_

_Well-bred and mature_

_And out of his mind!_

**Jacob:** _I feel pretty_

_Oh so pretty_

_That the city should give me its key!_

_A committee should be organized to honor me_

**Wolf pack:** _La la la la la la, la la la la_

**Jacob:** _I feel dizzy_

_I feel sunny_

_I feel fizzy, and funny, and fine_

_And so pretty_

_Miss America can just resign_

**Wolf pack:** _La la la la la la, la la la la_

**Jacob:** _See the pretty girl in that mirror there?_

**Wolf pack:** _What mirror? Where?_

**Jacob:** _Who can that attractive girl be?_

**Sam: **_Which? _

**Seth: **_What? _

**Quil: **_Where?_

**Embry: **_Who?_

**Jacob: **_Such a pretty face_

_Such a pretty dress_

_Such a pretty smile_

_Such a pretty me!_

**Quil: **_Such a pretty me!_

**Seth: **_Such a pretty me!_

**Embry: **_Such a pretty me!_

**Jacob: **_I feel stunning_

_And entrancing_

_Feel like running, and dancing for joy_

**All: **_For I'm loved by a pretty, wonderful boy!_

**Audience: **(applauds)

**Ms. ****Lockhart: **Thank you, guys! And thank you, Fred and George!

**Jacob: **Why, what did they do?

**Ms. Lockhart:** (quietly) They…um…helped me convince the rest of the wolf pack to sing with you.

**Jacob: **When you say convince, do you mean something unethical and/or illegal?

**Fred & George:** Of course not!

**Jacob: **Then what did you do?

**Fred & George:** We offered them some stuff from our joke shop.

**Jacob: **What kind of stuff?

**Fred: **Oh, you'll see.

**George: **(stifles his laughter)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Enough chitchat! Let's see who we have singing next…Draco Malfoy! He is here, right?

**Voldy: **I can get him for you. (laughs quietly, and evilly)

**Ms. Lockhart:** That would be much appreciated.

_Next Chapter:__ Draco Malfoy sings! I think…_


	16. Peter Lost His Hairbrush!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes, Harry Potter, Twilight, or Veggie Tales.**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**Ms. Lockhart:** (to Voldy) Why isn't he here yet?

**Voldy:** I don't know; he should've been here by now…

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, what do we do while we're waiting? The audience is starting to get restless!

_(Gestures to: Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who are playing solitaire; Fred and George, who are being attacked by the canary that is actually Jacob; Edward and Emmett, who are playing "Catch the Canary"; Alice, who appears to be leaving to go shopping with Bella; West and Lavender Brown, who appear to be making out in the back of the room; Claire, who is glaring at the two of them; Micah, who appears to be fixing the Sub-woofer (or just talking to it for fun); and all the general mess that accompanies this kind of boredom)_

**Voldy:** It's not my problem; you're the authoress!

**Ms. Lockhart**: That's true, very true. (Thinks for a moment, then has an idea) All right, everybody, listen up! Since Draco isn't here yet, we're going to do something fun! We're going to have your favorite Heroes sing "The Hairbrush Song" from Veggie Tales!

H H H H

**Mohinder (as the Narrator):** (spoken_) And now it's time for Silly Songs With Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. _(Looks at authoress)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (nods encouragingly) Go on.

**Mohinder:** _Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished his morning bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Larry wonders:_

**Peter (as Larry the Cucumber):** _Oh, where is my hairbrush?_

_Oh, where is my hairbrush?_

_Oh, where, oh, where_

_Oh, where, oh, where_

_Oh, where, oh, where_

_Oh, where, oh, where_

_Oh, where is my hairbrush?_

**The entire audience:** (laughs out loud)

**Mohinder**: _Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene. Shocked, and slightly embarrassed, at the sight of Larry in a towel, Pa regains his composure and reports:_

**Linderman (as Pa Grape):** _I think I saw a hairbrush back there!_

**Nathan: **Dang! Where are you finding all these dead characters?

**Ms. Lockhart:** The same place I found you.

**Nathan:** But I'm not dead! Claire's going to save me with her healing blood in the two-hour season premiere!

**Claire:** I am?

**Ms. Lockhart: **Yes, that seems plausible, but until then, we have to assume you're dead. Which reminds me, I have something I need you to do.

**Nathan:** Uh-oh.

**Peter**: _Back there is my hairbrush!_

_Back there is my hairbrush!_

_Back there, back there_

_Oh, where, back there_

_Oh, where, oh, where_

_Back there, back there_

_Back there is my hairbrush!_

**Mohinder**: _Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior Asparagus enters the scene. Shocked, and slightly embarrassed, at the sight of Larry in a towel, Junior regains his composure and comments:_

**Micah (as Junior Asparagus):** _Why do you need a hairbrush? You don't have any hair!_

**Ron**: Huh? He has plenty of hair, even without the emo bangs!

**Hermione**: It's the performance, Ron.

**Ron**: Ohhhhh…

**Mohinder**: _Larry is taken aback; the thought had never occurred to him! No hair? What will this mean? What will become of him? What will become of his hairbrush? Larry wonders:_

**Peter**: _No hair for my hairbrush_

_No hair for my hairbrush_

_No hair, no hair_

_No where, no hair_

_No hair, back there_

_No where, back there_

_No hair for my hairbrush!_

**Mohinder**: _Having heard his wondering, Bob the Tomato enters the scene._

**Claire**: Nathan's a tomato! (giggles)

**Nathan**: (whispers to authoress) I thought you weren't going to make me sing again!

**Ms. Lockhart:** And I'm not! You don't have to sing, just say the lines!

**Nathan**: Fine.

**Mohinder**: _Shocked, and slightly embarrassed, at the sight of Larry in a towel, Bob regains his composure and confesses:_

**Nathan**: _Larry, that old hairbrush of yours_

_Well, you never use it_

_You don't really need it, so_

_Well, I'm sorry, I didn't know_

_But I gave it to the Peach_

_'Cause he's got hair_

**Mohinder**: _Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments:_

**Peter:** _Not fair for my hairbrush_

_Not fair, my poor hairbrush_

_Not fair, not fair_

_Not fair, back there_

_No hair, not fair_

_Back there, not fair_

_Not fair, my little hairbrush_

**Mohinder:** _Having heard his lament, the Peach enters the scene._

**Claire**: (giggles)

**Peter**: (stifles his laughter)

**Mohinder**: (stifles his laughter and continues with his lines. Or, he tries to, at least) _Himself in a towel, both Larry and the Peach are shocked, and slightly embarrassed, at the sight of each other._

_But recognizing Larry's generosity, the Peach is thankful._

**Sylar (as the Peach):** (reluctantly, in a monotone) _Thanksforthehairbrush._

**Ms Lockhart:** Why does this remind me so much of the second season of Heroes?

**H. R. Bobness**: Maybe because both Peter and Sylar are shirtless?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Oh that's it! (giggles)

**Mohinder**: _Yes, good has been done here! The Peach exits the scene. Larry smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the hairbrush, calls out:_

**Peter**: _Take care of my hairbrush!_

_Take care of my hairbrush!_

_Take care, take care_

_Don't dare not care_

_Nice hair, no fair_

_Take care, take care_

_Take care of my hairbrush!_

**Mohinder**: _The end._

**Audience**: (applauds)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Okay, that was fun! Well, I'm gonna go check up with Voldy, see if Malfoy's here yet…

Next Chapter: Malfoy!


	17. Draco Malfoy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes, Harry Potter, or Twilight. I'm just having fun humiliating the characters. (laughs evilly). Sorry.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Is he here yet? (pause) Yes? Yes! Finally! And here's Draco Malfoy singing--

**Draco:** (confused) What? What am I doing here?

**Ms. Lockhart:** You're singing.

**Draco:** (still confused) I'm what?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Singing! It's karaoke night for all my favorite characters!

**Draco:** (flattered) Really? I'm one of your favorite characters?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, you're kind of lumped in with all the Harry Potter characters, so, yeah, I guess you could say that.

**Draco:** (flirtatious) Well, since you're being so nice about it, I'll sing anything for you.

**Ms. Lockhart:** Wonderful! Here's Draco Malfoy singing "Ode to Harry" by the Switchblade Kittens!

**Draco:** Ode to Who?

**Ms. Lockhart:** (giggles evilly)

**Draco:** _I can't help but blush when you're near me_

_But you just exclude me from your circle of three_

_I'm right in front of you, but you don't see_

_You treat me like I'm a Colin Creevey_

**Harry, Ron, Fred, and George:** (Laugh Out Loud)

**Harry:** Dang, woman, you are cruel!

Fred: Yeah, you're like, Cruella de Vil incarnate!

**Ms. Lockhart:** Oh, please, I could've been so much crueler!

**Ron:** Oh, come on! How could you possibly be more cruel than this? (gestures to a very angry-looking Draco onstage)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, for starters, I could have made him sing "Draco and Harry Secretly Want to Make Out" by the Whomping Willows as a duet with Harry. Then I could've "killed two birds with one stone", if you know what I'm saying.

**Harry:** Ooh. Touché.

**Draco:** _I love you_

_But it seems you don't love me_

_My friends say I should wait_

_And I know_

_You will see that we were meant to be_

_When you miss me it'll be too late_

**Ginny:** Wait, why didn't she have me sing this? It suits me better than Dragon-Boy!

**Hermione:** That's the point. It doesn't suit Draco; that's what makes it funny.

**Ginny:** Huh?

**Hermione:** Look, everyone knows that you feel that way about Harry (except those who insist that _I_ do, but we'll leave them out of this), so if you sang this, it wouldn't be funny; it would just be stating the obvious. But, if Draco sings it, it's funny, since he feels the exact opposite way about Harry.

**Ginny:** Oh…

**Draco:** _I have swallowed so much love my hair grows red_

_Come over to my house to see my brother instead_

_You didn't get my Valentine, didn't know what it meant_

_Every page about you my diary's read_

_I love you_

_But it seems you don't love me_

_My friends say I should wait_

_And I know_

_You will see that we were meant to be_

_When you miss me it'll be too late_

**Edward:** (to authoress) What is it with you and humiliating people?

**Ms. Lockhart: **I'm a fangirl; it's what we do (sometimes).

**Draco:** _Even though you're the one I adore_

_Next year at Hogwarts you'll see I've transformed_

_I will hold my head up high, 'cause I'm a Gryffindor_

_And you won't need to save me anymore_

_I love you_

_But it seems you don't love me_

_My friends say I should wait_

_And I know_

_You will see that we were meant to be_

_When you miss me it'll be too late_

**Voldy:** Mwahahahaha!! I think I'm going to give up being evil and become a fangirl; they can torture people much more effectively than I ever could!

**H. R. Bobness:** (Mumbles) Interesting word choice…

**Harry:** Um, don't you think it's a little late for that?

**Voldy: **Oh, crap, that's right. (pouts)

**Harry: **(stifles his giggles)

**Draco: **_I love you_

_But it seems you don't love me_

_My friends say I should wait_

_And I know_

_You will see that we were meant to be_

_When you miss me it'll be too late_

_When you miss me it will be too late_

_When you miss me it'll be too late_

**Audience: **(applauds)

**Ms.** **Lockhart: **Thank you, Draco.

**Draco: **(glares at authoress)

**Ms. Lockhart:** All right, it's pointy green hat time!

**Characters: **(Groan)

**Ms. Lockhart:** And the winner is…Neville Longbottom!

_Next Chapter:__ Neville, Neville, Neville, Neville, Neville!_


	18. Neville

**Chapter 18**

**Ms. Lockhart:** All right, here's Neville Longbottom singing "Nobody's Perfect" by Hannah Montana!

**Neville: **_Everybody makes mistakes_

_Everybody has those days_

**Voldy: **Oh, I can tell this is going to be funny! I can feel it!

**Neville: **_One, two, three, four!_

_Everybody makes mistakes _

_Everybody has those days_

_Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about _

_Everybody gets that way_

_Everybody makes mistakes _

_Everybody has those days_

_Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about_

_Everybody gets that way _

**Harry: **Poor Neville!

**Ron: **Actually, he's holding his own pretty well. He's better than that Petrelli person, anyway.

**Nathan: **I heard that!

**Neville: **_Sometimes I'm in a jam_

_I gotta make a plan_

_It might be crazy_

_I do it anyway_

_No way to know for sure_

_I figure out a cure_

_I'm patching up the holes _

_But then it overflows_

_If I'm not doing too well_

_Why be so hard on myself?_

**Sylar: **So, I'm just curious; when all the names are out of the hat, then what are you going to do?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Then? Then I'm going to start working on the sequel…(grins evilly)

**Sylar: **Oh brother…

**Ms. Lockhart:** Where art thou?

**Sylar: **(looks confused)

**Neville: **_Nobody's perfect_

_I gotta work it _

_Again and again_

_Till I get it right _

_Nobody's perfect_

_You live and you learn it_

_And if I mess it up sometimes (hey)_

_Nobody's perfect_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Bobness? Where has that boy gotten to? Bobness? We're really quite late, you know… Bobness!

**H. R. Bobness:** I'm here, Ms. Lockhart!

**Ms Lockhart:** Aha! Finally! Here he is, in the nick of time. We're really quite late, you know.

**H. R. Bobness:** Late for what?

**Ms Lockhart:** Hmm… Now what are we late for?

**H. R. Bobness:** Wait, are you just acting out the opening scene from the play of Alice In Wonderland we're in?

**Ms Lockhart:** Maybe…

**Neville: **_Sometimes I work a scheme_

_But then it flips on me _

_Doesn't turn out how I planned_

_Get stuck in quicksand _

_But no problem can't be solved _

_Once I get involved_

_I try to be delicate_

_Then crash right into it_

_But my intentions are good _

_(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah) _

_Sometimes just misunderstood_

**Alice: **Oh, where am I? I think I fell down another rabbit hole or something; there are all these strange people here…

**Edward: **Alice? Alice?

**Alice: **Who are you?

**Edward: **Who are _you_?

**Alice: **Oh, I wish people would stop asking me that!

**Alice _Cullen_:** Yes, Edward?

**Edward: **Oh, there you are, Alice!

**Alice: **No, I'm over here.

**Edward: **I wasn't talking to you; I was talking to my sister, Alice.

**Alice: **Oh.

**Alice C.:** Edward, who are you talking to?

**Edward: **Alice.

**Alice C.:** No, _I'm_ right here; who is _this_? (Indicates the Other Alice (the one from Alice in Wonderland, in case you haven't already guessed))

**Edward:** Alice, this is Alice. Alice, this is my sister, Alice.

**Alice: **(curtseys) Very pleased to meet you, I'm sure.

**Alice C:** Hi!

**Edward: **This could get interesting…

**Neville: **_Sometimes I fix things up _

_And they fall apart again _

_I know I mix things up _

_But I always get it right in the end _

_(You know I do)_

_Next time you feel like_

_It's just one of those days_

_When you just can't seem to win _

_When things don't turn out the way you planned _

_Figure something else out_

_Don't stay down, try again! _

_(Yeah) _

_Everybody makes mistakes_

_Everybody has those days_

_Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about _

_Everybody gets that way_

_Everybody makes mistakes _

_Everybody has those days_

_Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about_

_Everybody gets that way _

_Nobody's perfect_

_I gotta work it (Work it) _

_Again and again _

_Till I get it right_

_Nobody's perfect_

_You live and you learn it_

_And if I mess it up sometimes_

**Hermione: **I'm getting bored. You wanna sneak out the back, Ginny?

**Ginny: **Nah. The authoress will probably catch us…

**Ms. Lockhart:** Too right I will.

**Neville: **_Nobody's perfect_

_I gotta work it_

_I know in time I'll find a way _

_Nobody's perfect _

_You live and you learn it_

_'Cause everybody makes mistakes_

_Nobody's perfect_

_Nobody's perfect _

_Nobody's perfect!_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thank you, Neville! Now, I shall draw a name out of the pointy green hat…Luna!

_Next Chapter:__ Luna Lovegood is very blond, and very awesome! And is rocking the stage in the next chapter!_


	19. Luna

**Disclaimer: I'm not Ms. Jo, Ms. Stephenie, or Mr. Tim. Please don't hurt me.**

Wow. It just now hit me; this is the farthest I've ever gotten on a story (although, I'm pretty sure I passed that point when I hit chapter 9.) Anyway, big ol' bunches of multi-fandom love to those of you who have stuck with me! And to my collaborator, Bobness!

On to the singing!

* * *

**Chapter 19**

**Ms. Lockhart:** All right, here's Luna singing "'Cuz I'm A Blonde" by Julie Brown!

**Luna:** _Because I'm a blonde, I don't have to think_

_I talk like a baby, and I never pay for drinks_

_Don't have to worry about getting a man_

_If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

**Voldy: **(laughs loudly and obnoxiously)

**Luna: **_I see people workin', it just makes me giggle_

_'Cause I don't have to work; I just have to giggle_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_B-L-O-N-D_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Don't you wish you were me?_

**Edward:** I can't take it anymore!

**Ms. Lockhart:** (looks up from her copy of _Twilight_) Take what?

**Edward: **Alice!

**Ms. Lockhart: **What? I thought you two were getting along so well; what happened?

**Edward: **I don't know! She just won't stop talking! Something about a white rabbit, and a mad hatter, and a giant mouse, and a pack of cards that tried to cut off her head, and—

**Ms. Lockhart:** Wait, who are you talking about? 'Cause I'm starting to think you're not talking about your sister.

**Edward: **What? No, my _sister _Alice is just as annoyed as I am. I'm talking about the Alice in the blue dress, the Alice who thinks I'm a "Mr. Carroll". Why does she think I'm a Mr. Carroll?

**Ms. Lockhart:** I'm not sure…Anyway, if it bothers you that much, I'll help. I just thought it might be funny.

**Edward: **What you think is funny tends to be annoying and/or cruel to a certain degree.

**Ms. Lockhart:** I know.

**Luna: **_I never learned to read, and I never learned to cook_

_Why should I bother when I look like I look?_

_I know lots of people are smarter than me_

_But I have this philosophy:_

_So what?_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_I see girls without dates, and I feel so sorry for 'em_

_'Cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

**Alice: **And then the Queen said, "Off with her head!", and I said, "Nonsense! You must have a trial before you cut off anybody's head, you know!", and the Queen asked the White Rabbit, and he said I was right, and then we held a trial, and the jury was a bunch of stupid animals and…

**Voldy, Sylar, Adam, Linderman, and Bob:** (groan)

**Voldy: **Help!

**Adam: **Not even being buried alive was this bad!

**Linderman: **(staggers upright, and starts to walk away)

**Sylar: **Where are you going?

**Linderman: **Jessica…Jessica has the pudding…must get the green monkey from Micah…he's friends with vampires, you know…or maybe that's Bob…

**Bob: **Hey!

**Alice: **And then the Hare said, "It's very easy to take more than nothing." And then I said…

**Luna: **_They say that to make it, you need talent and ambition_

_Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:_

_Umm ... okay ... what was it? ... umm ..._

_Don't tell me ... Oh, yeah, okay._

_"Duck, Magnum, duck!"_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

**White Rabbit:** Oh dear, oh dear, I'm late, I'm late I tell you! Oh my ears and whiskers!

**Alice: **White Rabbit! Finally, a familiar face! (follows him out the door)

**Edward: **(to authoress) Oh, thank you, a million times over, thank you!

**Alice C.** (hereafter known as "Alice"): How did you get that Rabbit here so quickly?

**Ms. Lockhart:** The same way I got all of you here so quickly. The same way I got Draco to sing "Ode to Harry," and Edward and Jasper and Emmett to sing Miley Cyrus. I'm a writer, and a fanfiction writer, what's more; we have infinite power over all the characters we know.

**Alice: **Ohhhhhh…

**Luna: **_I took an IQ test, and I flunked it of course_

_I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche_

_'Cause I'm blonde _

_B-L-O-N-D_

_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Don't you wish you were me?_

_Spoken_

_I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian 'cause I love children!_

**Voldy: **(talking into borrowed cellphone again) Bella! You have to get down here! We're having so much fun, and you just have to be a part of it! Doesn't she, everybody?

**Sylar, Bob, Linderman, and Adam:** Oh, yes. Definitely. Right-oh. Yeah.

**Voldy:** See? (Pause) Okay. (Pause) Okay. Oh, bring Lucius and Narcissa too, they'll love it! (Pause) Great. See you soon. (Hangs up)

**Luna: **_'Cause I'm a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_'Cause we're a blonde _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true_

_But with my hair and body, you would be too!_

_I'm a blonde _

_B-L- ... I don't know!_

_I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah!_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Thank you, Luna! That was wonderful! All right, who's next? (pulls name out of hat) Molly! But she's gone. So…(pulls another name out of hat) Micah! (Pauses while her co-host whispers something in her ear) Oh. Micah fell asleep talking to the Sub-woofer? Oh. Well, I guess we'll have to come back to him. (pulls yet another name out of the hat) Mr. Bennett? (pauses) He's not here? (pause) He never showed up? (glares at Bob) Well, then…I guess we'll have to—

**Bellatrix: **Fine! I'm here!

**Ms. Lockhart:** (grins) Bellatrix! Just the psychopath I wanted to see!

**Bellatrix: **Hmm? Who are you?

**Voldy: **She's the authoress. _And_ she's the big ol' meanie who made me sing Hannah Montana!

**Bellatrix: **(Looks shocked) She didn't! You poor thing!

**Ms. Lockhart:** (mumbles) Technically, it was Miley Cyrus. (Out loud) Um, Bellatrix? How's your singing voice?

**Bellatrix: **Pardon?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Singing? Are you terribly atrocious, or not?

**Bellatrix: **Well, I'm not sure. I've never really done that much singing…

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, how do you know you won't like it unless you try it? (Holds out mike to Bellatrix) What do you say?

**Bellatrix: **Well, okay.

**Voldy: **No! Don't do it! She'll just embarrass you like she embarrassed me!

**Bellatrix: **Oh, shut up! Following you is what got me killed!

**Voldy: **(pouts)

**Harry: **(giggles)

_Next Chapter:__ Bellatrix!_


	20. Apology and Plea for Help

**UPDATE:** I _Finally_ found the right song for Bellatrix to sing. If you have any suggestions for songs other characters could sing, I still could definitely use them.

* * *

Okay guys, I'm really sorry if I offended anybody with my song choice in the last chapter; I just thought it fit, considering Luna is blond. And in a way, it's also kind of ironic, since Luna is nothing like the girl that's described in the song.

Moving on...

I need help. I have _no_ ideas for what Bellatrix should sing. If any of you have _any_ suggestions, I could really use them. I'm open to anything, as long as it doesn't violate the "T" rating. If you could send lyrics too, that would be wonderful of you.

Thanx a million,

L. L.


	21. Bellatrix

**Disclaimer:**** Don't own. Don't sue.**

Sorry the chapter's so short. The next one should be up in about a week. If it isn't, it either means I a) ran out of inspiration, b) my computer crashed, or c) I died a horrible, tragic death. 'a' is probably most likely, though.

* * *

**Chapter 21**

**Ms. Lockhart:** Well, here's Bellatrix singing "You're My Honeybunch (The Cuppycake Song)" by Someone-I-Can't-Remember-the-Name-Of! Which, thankfully, is a very short song.

**Bellatrix**: _You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum_

_Pumpy-umpy-umpkin_

_You're my Sweetie Pie_

**Audience**: (can't decide whether to scream in pain or laugh out loud)

**Bellatrix**: (glares at authoress while she sings)

_You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop_

_Snoogums-Boogums _

_You're the Apple of my Eye_

**Voldy**: Oh, wait! Here's the camera! (turns it on, and records the rest of the song)

**Bellatrix**: _And I love you so and I want you to know_

_That I'll always be right here_

_And I love to sing sweet songs to you_

_Because you are so dear_

**Audience**: Brava! Brava! Encore! Encore!

**Bellatrix**: (to authoress) Do I have to?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Just one more time. Then I'll give you a cookie and let you torture Voldy to your heart's content.

**Bellatrix:** Fine.

_You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum_

_Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie_

_You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop_

_Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye_

_And I love you so and I want you to know_

_That I'll always be right here_

_And I love to sing sweet songs to you_

_Because you are so dear_

**Audience**: (applauds)

**Ms. Lockhart:** (to Bellatrix) All right, _now_ you may go chase/torture/get-the-tape-of-you-singing-from Voldy.

**Voldy:** (screams and flees in terror as Bellatrix chases after him)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Pointy green hat time! Niki! Or…Jessica! Or…Geena, I guess. Whichever one happens to be here at this moment.

_Next Chapter:__ Niki/Jessica/Geena performs! This ought to be interesting..._


	22. Author Note

**Chapter 22**

All right, guys, the chapters are back. I can't guarantee that it'll stay, though, so if you want to save the chapters, I would recommend going back through the chapters and saving the pages. (If you don't know how to do that, just right click on the page, and hit "Save Page As...")

Anyway, I'm going to try and wrap everything up in the next chapter, and then maybe give you some "Alternate Scenes" as bonus content.

I hope you've enjoyed the story. If there's a character that I didn't get to that you wanted to see humiliated, let me know and I'll _try _to write a chapter for them. And there may or may not be a sequel; it depends on how I feel about it.

Multi-fandom love to all of you!

Nerdily yours,

L. L.


	23. Niki and Her Multiple Personalities

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Twilight, Heroes, or Harry Potter. I can't think of anything funny to put in this disclaimer, so that's all I'm disclaimer-ing.**

This story's ending comes to you in two parts, which will be followed by bonus content (deleted scenes, alternate musical numbers, etc.).

Also, this chapter contains mild--actually, not so mild--Breaking Dawn spoilers, so if you haven't finished the book yet, stay away!

My brother says he wants to do a sequel; I'm still undecided. Until I decide, enjoy your two-part ending sequence!

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**Ms. Lockhart**: And now, here's Niki Sanders and her numerous alter-egos singing "The Other Side of Me" by Hannah Montana!

**Gina/Jessica:** _The other side _

_The other side_

_The other side of me_

**Niki:** _By day, I play _

_The part in every way _

_Of simple sweet, calm and collected_

**Jessica**: _Pretend, to my friends_

_I'm a chameleon_

_Can make a girl feel disconnected_

**Gina**: _Feel like a star_

_A super hero_

_Sometimes it's hard to separate_

**Niki/Jessica/Gina:** _Got too much on my plate!_

**Micah**: (snores loudly) Whoa! What? How did I get here? (sees Jessica) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! (promptly exits the scene)

**Niki**: _If you could see_

**Jessica**: _The other side of me_

**Niki**: _I'm just like anybody else, can't you tell?_

_I hold the key_

**Jessica**: _To both realities_

**Niki**: _The girl that I want you to know_

_If only I could show_

_The other side_

**Gina**: _The other side_

**Jessica**: _I want you to see_

**Niki**: _The other side_

**Jessica**: _The other side_

**Gina**: _The other side of me_

**Peter**: You know, if someone was reading this in a script-like format, I bet they would be pretty confused right now.

**Nathan**: Whatever.

**Niki**: _Inside, I try _

_To make the pieces fit right_

_A jigsaw puzzle everywhere_

**Jessica**: _'Cause I flip the script_

_So many times I forget_

_Who's on stage, who's in the mirror_

**Voldy**: Well, my new bestest friends in the whole wide world, what shall we do now?

**Adam**: I don't know. What do you want to do, Sy?

**Sylar**: I don't know about you, but I feel like slicing open some skulls.

**Voldy**: O…kay. (to Bob) What about you, Bobness?

**H. R. Bobness:** Hey! That's my nickname!

**Voldy**: Whatevs.

**Bobness**: (Growls at Voldy)

**Gina**: _Back in the spotlight_

_The crowd is calling_

_The paparazzi and the fame_

**Niki/Jessica/Gina:** _It can drive a girl insane!_

**Harry**: I don't understand…if it's multiple personalities in one person, then how are they all singing at the same time?

**Ms. Lockhart:** Oh, don't be so nitpicky!

**Jessica**: _If you could see_

**Niki**: _The other side of me_

_I'm just like anybody else, can't you tell?_

_I hold the key_

**Gina**: _To both realities_

_The girl that I want you to know_

_If only I could show_

**Niki**: _The other side_

_The other side_

**Jessica**: _I want you to see_

**Niki**: _The other side_

_The other side_

**Gina**: _The other side of me_

Ms. Lockhart: Okay, this is boring.

**Adam**: I agree.

**Bob**: Sooo…can we leave?

**Ms. Lockhart:** I guess so. You're boring too, so you might as well be out of the way.

**Adam & Bob:** Yay! (Exit)

**Sylar & Voldy:** (Try to sneak out with Bob and Adam. Authoress spots them.)

**Ms. Lockhart:** Freeze, turkeys! You're not going anywhere; you're still interesting!

**Sylar**: Oh, darn. I thought you might be tired of torturing me by now.

**Voldy**: Same 'ere.

**Ms. Lockhart:** No, not quite.

**Niki: **_Down inside I'm not that different_

_Like everyone I have a dream_

**Jessica: **_Don't want to hide, just want to fit in_

**Gina: **_Sometimes it's harder than it seems_

**Bella: **(looks down and sees Renesmee sitting next to her) When did you get here?!

**Nessie: **The same time you turned into a vampire; when Breaking Dawn came out.

**Bella: **What? I turned into a vampire? (grabs Edward's shirt) When did this happen?

**Edward: **When Breaking Dawn came out. You honestly don't remember?

**Bella: **No. And I have no idea what this 'Breaking Dawn' is that you all are talking about!

**Jessica: **_If you could see _

_The other side of me_

**Niki: **_I'm just like anybody else, can't you tell_

_I hold the key_

**Jessica: **_To both realities_

_The girl that I want you to know_

**Gina: **_If only I could show_

**Niki: **_The other side_

**Gina: **_The other side_

**Jessica: **_I want you to see_

**Niki: **_The other side_

**Gina: **_The other side_

**Niki/Jessica/Gina:** _The other side of me_

**Audience:** (applauds)

_(Suddenly, all the characters from the various 'Yu-Gi-Oh!' incarnations come bursting in)_

**Yugi:** I fuse 'Magician of Faith' and 'Pot of Greed' to form 'Magician of Greedy Faithful Pots'!

**Jaden:** Oh yeah? Well, I fuse 'Elemental Hero Neos' and 'Pikachu' to form 'Electric Neos Yellow Mouse'!

**Hassleberry**: My turn! I fuse…'That Cactus Over There' and…'Edward Cullen' to form…'Elemental Hero Vampire Cactus'!

**Joey: **And I'll counter by fusing 'Harry Potter' with 'John Green' to form 'Uber-Nerdfighter Space Monkey'!

**Seto Kaiba**: And I'll fuse this girl (picks up Alice) and this guy (picks up Hiro) to form 'Jelly Dino'!

**Chazz:** I'll fuse 'Ojama king', 'Armed dragon LV10' and 'VWXYZ Dragon Cannon' to form 'A peanut'!

_(Yugi and Jaden gasp while Seto runs around screaming like a baby)_

**Ms. Lockhart:** What the heck are you doing?

**Jaden: **Dueling each other using only 'Super Polymerzation' and whatever we can find around us.

**Ms. Lockhart:** Why?

**Jaden: **So we can have revenge on the writers who gave my show a crappy ending!

**Yugi: **Hear, hear.

**Ms. L:** Well, I can't say I blame you, but don't fuse any of my vampires, wizards or superheroes. I need them.

**Hassleberry**: But they make such great fusion monsters!

**Syrus:** Yeah!

**Ms. L:** I'll tell you what: you unfuse everybody, and we'll help you beat up your sucky writers. Deal?

**Jaden:** Deal. (Defuses everything with "De-fusion")

**Ms. L:** All right! Let's go beat up the Yu-Gi-Oh GX writers!

**All:** Yeah!

_(As they all start to leave, Snape taps authoress on the shoulder and whispers in her ear.)_

**Ms. L:** Of course. Just turn everything off when you're done.

**Snape:** Thanks.

_(All exit, except for Snape, who walks up on the stage and waves his wand. Old-timey country music begins to play.)_

**Snape: **_Well, my Daddy left home when I was three_

_And he didn't leave much to Ma and me_

_Just this old guitar and a empty bottle of booze_

_Now, I don't blame him, 'cause he run and hid_

_But the meanest thing that he ever did_

_Was before he left, he went and named me Sue..._

**_To Be Continued…._**


	24. The End of the Beginning

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own a thing. Yay! Last disclaimer for this story! And I would make it more humorous, but I'm really tired of doing these. So there.**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

_Link and Zelda!_

_Or, The End of the Beginning_

_Or,the Second Part of the Two-Part Ending!_

_Previously...on Lyra Lockhart's Multi-fandom karaoke extravaganza!_

**Ms. L:** All right! Let's go beat up the Yu-Gi-Oh GX writers!

**All:** Yeah!

_(As they all start to leave, Snape taps authoress on the shoulder and whispers in her ear.)_

**Ms. L:** Of course. Just turn everything off when you're done.

**Snape:** Thanks.

_(All exit, except for Snape, who walks up on the stage and waves his wand. Old-timey country music begins to play.)_

**Snape:**_ Well, my Daddy left home when I was three_

_And he didn't leave much to Ma and me_

_Just this old guitar and a empty bottle of booze_

_Now, I don't blame him, 'cause he run and hid_

_But the meanest thing that he ever did_

_Was before he left, he went and named me Sue_

_Well, he must've thought that it was quite a joke_

_And it got lots of laughs from lots of folks_

'_Seems I had to fight my whole life through_

_Some gal would giggle, and I'd get red_

_And some guy'd laugh, and I'd bust his head_

_I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue--_

**Off-Screen Voice:** Yah!

**Off-Screen Voice 2:** Link, wait! Be careful! We don't know what these people are capable of!

_(A blonde boy, clad all in green, barges in. Snape stops singing, startled. The boy and Snape stare at each other.)_

**Snape:** Who are you?

**Boy in Green:** ……

**Snape:** I'm sorry, I don't understand.

**Link:** …………………..!

**Snape:** I'm sorry, I don't speak…dots.

**Zelda:** (rushes in) Link, are you okay?

**Link:** ……….

**Zelda:** Oh. Okay, I'll translate. (turns to Snape) He says, "Where's my hat?"

**Snape:** Your hat? The Pointy Green hat? It's over there.

**Link:** … .. ……?

**Zelda:** He says, "What was she using it for, anyway?"

**Snape:** She was using it to randomly select names of people, to torture them with karaoke.

**Link:** ……………?

**Zelda:** "But why _my_ hat?"

**Snape:** Ah. I'm not sure. I guess it's another one of those 'fangirl' things.

**Link:** …………………………………………………………

**Zelda:** "Oh. Okay."

**Link:** (picks up his hat from a nearby table, and puts it on.)

**Snape:** (recognizes Link) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! The Hero of Time! (exits frantically)

**Link:** ……….?

**Zelda:** I don't know. Maybe he just doesn't like you.

**Link:** ……………………….?

**Zelda:** Sure, why not?

_(Slow, orchestral broadway-style music begins to play.)_

**Link:** .. ... ... .. ...

…… ….. ……… …..

………………………….

…………………….

………………………

……………………..

………………………

…………………………

**Zelda:** _Say you love me every waking moment_

_Turn my head with talk of summertime_

_Say you need me with you, now and always_

_Promise me that all you say is true_

_That's all I ask of you_

**Link:** ……………….

……………………….

………………….

……………………..

**Zelda:** _All I want is freedom_

_A world with no more night_

_And you, always beside me _

_To hold me and to hide me_

**Link:** ………………….

………………

……………………………

……………………….

…………………………

…………………….

…………………………

**Zelda:** _Say you'll share with me _

_One love, one lifetime_

_Say the word and I will follow you_

_Share each day with me_

_Each night, each morning_

_Say you love me_

**Link:** …………

**Both:** _Love me, that's all I ask of you_

……………………………………

_Anywhere you go, let me go too_

………………………………...

_Love me, that's all I ask of you_

…………………………………

_**Fin…for now**_


	25. Deleted Scene: Chapter 13, Extended

All right, here's the first of the deleted scenes! This is the extended version of the beginning of chapter 13, with my brother's...textual antics. I didn't include this in the actual chapter in the end, but I saved it specifically for this. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**H. R. Bobness:** Alright, here's Ron Weasley singing " "!

_(Music doesn't start playing) _

**Ron:** _…………………………………………………………(Starts dancing) …………………………………………………………………………_

**Sylar:** And I thought me singing was embarrassing.

**Ron:** _(Starts acting like he's screaming into the microphone) ………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………_

……………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………

_(Stops dancing and pretending to sing and starts tapping his foot while he _

_stares at left stage)_

**Ron:** _(Starts pretending to sing again) ………………………………………………_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………………………

H. R. Bobness: (Sneaks out of room)

**Ron:** _………………………………………………………………………………………_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_(Makes Karate chop hands and starts Karate choping) ……………………………_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**H. R. Bobness:** (Yells from back room) Ron! Do you think you could sing this one?!

**Ron:** _………………………………………………………………………………………_

……………………………… _What is it?! ………………………………………………_

**H. R. Bobness:** Choose YES or NO!

**Ron:** Okay! It'll definitely be better than this!

**H. R. Bobness:** Okay! (Whispers) _Now… which one?_

**Ron:** _……………………………………………………………… Why isn't the music starting?!_

**H. R. Bobness:** I haven't chosen a song yet!

**Ron:** _……………You're going to pay for this! ………………………………_

**H. R. Bobness:** Aha! I found it! (Grabs a microphone that someone left in the back room) And now here's Ronald Weasley singing "I Am What I Am" by the Jonas brothers!

**Ron:** _I am what I am_

_I can't help myself _

_And if you don't like it _

_Get with somebody else_

_I'll never change my ways_

_It's not a phase_

_This is how it is _

_And this is how it's gonna stay_

**H. R. Bobness:** Wow… He is good at this song considering that it's a song that's designed for three people! And, no, Fred and George, You may not go up there with him.

**Fred and George:** We weren't thinking that.

**H. R. Bobness:** I know that you two were thinking that since the artists are the Jonas _Brothers_ that you two could go up there, since you're his _brothers_.

**Fred and George:** We weren't thinking that. Siriusly.

**Ron:** _Because I am what I am_

_I know what I'm not_

_I'm not the type of guy _

_Who doesn't know when he's got it_

_And I won't back down_

_Won't come around_

_Sayin' that I'll change_

_'Cause that's not how it's goin' down_

**Nathan:** I thought he was going to be horrible at this… (Faints)

**Ron:** _I am what I am_

_What can I say?_

_I'm gonna be this real_

_Right up until my dying day_

_Because that's how it goes_

_Head to my toes_

_And if it doesn't show_

_Well I just have to let you know_

**Harry:** (Stares at stage with eyes wide open)

**Ron:** _Because I can't turn back_

_I'm right on track_

_And if you think you know_

_Well, then you better check your facts_

_'Cause I know_

_Wherever I go_

_I know where I stand_

_I am what I am_

_I am what I am_

**Ms. Lockhart:** Hold on! Stop the music!

_(Record scratch sound is heard, even though they're using iTunes to play the music.)_

**Ms. Lockhart: **(runs back into the room) Sorry about that, guys. I had to deal with the Volturi. Apparently, Sylar smells appetizing to them. (shrugs)

**Sylar:** (looks uncomfortable)

**Ms. Lockhart: **Wait, what's going on in here? (looks at Ron onstage) What did he make you sing? You know what? Never mind.

**Harry:** Yeah, I don't think you want to know.


End file.
